Dan’s Day out Christmas shopping!

Hey Blog,

Well my day was pretty epic and I even bought myself a new pair of trainers :) Took my dog Bella for a long walk on the beach, spent a little time hugged up with Holly on the sofa and have just ordered a Domino’s Pizza YUMMMM! Sorry to hear you had driving problems Mike, the van will be back on the road tomorrow. P.S I hope you enjoyed working in this shitty weather on you Todd! haha

I’ll be back at work tomorrow so for anyone that’s just stumbled across our blog “Welcome” and wants to know more, please keep posted for more uploads, live feeds and Me and Mike on the long road to nowhere. There is a reason why we are both here: we drive so many miles on a day to day basis and stop at some of the most unusual places and want to share them with anyone that may be interested in different parts of the UK, any sightseers, people traveling Europe etc etc.

Have a nice evening all :)



If you’re having car problems I feel bad for you son!!

This morning was a nightmare!!

How the hell does a car horn just stay on constant? It was like a poltergeist had taken full control of the steering wheel, whilst the “ex Mrs” was sat in the back screaming her bloody head off, like some loony that just broken out of the mental hospital (not something you really want the pleasure of hearing at 6:30 in the morning). Moving forward things went from bad to worse and even I started to lose my temper a bit. I have never really understood why so many people speed to work? I drive an old banger of a motor and for any driver with a clear fucking eyesight “this car is at least 25 years of age and comes in the shape of a box”, with a top speed of 70mph “if lucky”, yet, drivers persist to drive right up my backside, with some expectation that I’ll accelerate with an 18month old child in the passenger seat “are you off your fucking rockers”?, do some people believe that their job is that important, they would risk the lives of others including me and my child? Fuck me some people need to get a grip and grow up, one thing I have seen over the years is so many people think they are better than the next. When you actually start to realize having a fast car and a shit load of money does not make you any more special, even the fact that this “dick-fuck” was wearing aviators “in the dark may I add” in a “Bentley” (Maybe I’m just a little old fashioned but fuck me pink!!!)

Yeah and that’s about it apart from finishing my days work aching all over…

At Day’s End!!

Well here is an update of the afternoon “slightly exaggerated”

Towards the end of the day Dan and Mike both made it home safely. It was like their own version of “Pirates of the Caribbean”, apart from the fact it excluded johnny depp and that bird who plays “Elizabeth Swann”, nerveless the weather kept smashing back and forth, strimmers were being vacuumed into the air and rain pelted down at the pair of them as they both took shelter underneath an overgrown “cherry blossom”. Dan and Mike realized they were both acting like a pair of muppets and needed to face the “weather god” directly and with one final struggle, Dan and Mike stuck on their Hi-Vis’s and pulled out “El Toro” (The mower) and “Mr Sharp” (The hedge cutter) from the Van and got their graft on!!!

To be continued…

About to head back out into Hurricane “South Glamorgan”

Hi I am Mike. Just thought I would introduce oneself using the worlds shittest camera phone. Dan is off out collecting tools for tomorrows LONG and WET job, whilst up until now I had been enjoying my afternoon lunch. Little did I know Dan has taken a full day off tomorrow to fuck around “Christmas shopping” and yes I am very envious as my day is quite the opposite to any fairy-tale. :)

Don’t we all just live for “Shit weather”

“Monday Blues”

Good morning,

Talk about Monday Blues… You know when you wake up and get a small glimpse through that curtain and keep telling yourself “five more minutes and I will get my ass out of bed”? I really wish that was the case, especially when the temperature outdoors is minus “fucking freezing” and as you lift the bed-sheet there’s steam actually rising from your ball-sack!

We all got to do it though and working outdoors happens to be the perks for Dan and Mike on a daily basis. Everything Dan and Mike do is just so fucking depressing in the winter, so the only hopes they carry are their own company and to push through each day, whilst wrapping up like “Santa Clause” before he departs the “North Pole”.

For all those lads and ladies that work either out on construction sites, the great outdoors, or you just happen to come from a really cold part of the planet, or even the old timers that manage to continue weeding their own gardens during the winter period, Mike and Dan feel for you to a degree and suggest wearing a bomber jacket based on this winters “chill factor” and if you can avoid it make a cuppa, sit back and stick “two fingers up” at Mr Windy bollocks!!

For all the office workers, telesales teams and people which have to literally do repetitive work every fucking day, no-matter how nauseating the job is Mike and Dan also feel for you guys. Dan used to work in an airport “that shit was not bestowed to him by his mother”, Mike on the other hand took a stopgap and spent “far too long in his opinion” working for a respectable insurance firm and before either of them lost the plot completely, they both made that decision to breakaway and start doing what they know best… Working outdoors!!

So getting back to those “Monday Blues” we only got 4 more days until the weekend and then we can get back to eating crappy food, spending time with our lovely families and even have a cheeky drink!

Good day fellow workers :)


Today is obviously the weekend but as Mike and Dan are keeping the blog updates regular, here are a few extra parts of the job which get carried out over the winter period:

1: Both Dan and Mike are dads, both having a little girl their bank balance is constantly drained!

2: Mike does detective work “freelance” and you could say he inspires to be the next Sherlock Holmes, so C.I.D if you have any unsolved cases drop us a one-liner :)

3: Dan is happily in love and his fiance “Miss X” makes sure she keeps him from buying PlayStation 4 games, but Dan cannot help spending most evenings killing the fuck out of zombies (do you blame him?)

4: As black Friday has just passed Dan and Mike may attempt to get the remainder of their crimbo shopping completed before the start of the new  working week.

Little facts like these will be posted every weekend…

Dan in wet socks!

Welcome guys and gals. Today we encountered some fucking ruff weather and got soaked through. Dan had wet feet and flipped his lid, ended up with black bin liners wrapped around his ankles, whilst hurricane “God Father”  started ripping us back and forth across the Severn Bridge, as we made way to Barry Island listening to this “FAT” track by  Natalie Imbruglia: